JanDunlap.com

I may never fly again.

On a recent trip to San Antonio, I got wanded at the airport security checkpoint because I was wearing a long skirt.

“We can’t see the outline of your body,” the lady security person explained to me as she moved the wand around my hips.

“Well, actually, that’s kind of the idea here,” I told her. “I don’t want anyone to see the extra five pounds I put on over the holidays. It’s belly fat, not explosives.”

She was not amused. She did, however, deem me non-threatening enough to be allowed on a commercial airliner.

I don’t know about you, but I am now officially vampired-out.

Not that I was ever a vampire fan to begin with, but after the glut of blood suckers that have saturated every form of media in the last year or so, I am ready to have the world move on from its fascination with sickly-looking, socially-impaired undead creatures.

Kind of sounds like my composition class of college freshman during finals week.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

Actually, when the craze started, I was happy about the millions of girls who were reading the “Twilight” series penned by Stephanie Meyer. As a book lover myself, I’m always delighted when other people get excited about reading; knowing how hard it is to compete with electronic entertainment, I’m ...more...

Chaska, MN (DWI) – Local investigators have gathered unmistakable evidence that a natural disaster of epic proportions is only weeks away, and it won’t be appearing on your neighborhood movie screen.

Instead, it’s going to happen in neighborhoods all over the world.

“The effects of global warming are nothing compared to this baby,” said Dr. Steven Moron of the National Daylight Monitoring Center. “We are talking about complete geophysical, biological, and economic meltdown here. I don’t want to cause a panic, but our data shows we have barely eight weeks left of life as we know it. The Big Lights-Out is on its way.”

The Big Lights-Out is the term coined by Moron to describe the cataclysmic event that he and his team of investigators are now predicting as imminent: total darkness.

“We’ve been ...more...