JanDunlap.com

My husband is having knee surgery this week, so his doctor sent him a packet with all the pre-operation instructions he’s supposed to follow to make sure the procedure goes smoothly. Since this will be the fourth surgery he’s had on that particular knee in the last twenty years, we both have a pretty good idea of what the day of surgery will entail. As expected, the packet from the doctor included the usual medical information and hospital admission forms, a list of the prescription drugs my husband currently takes, and reminders about hospital policies.

There was also another sheet in the packet which my husband never received prior to his other surgeries.

I may never fly again.

On a recent trip to San Antonio, I got wanded at the airport security checkpoint because I was wearing a long skirt.

“We can’t see the outline of your body,” the lady security person explained to me as she moved the wand around my hips.

“Well, actually, that’s kind of the idea here,” I told her. “I don’t want anyone to see the extra five pounds I put on over the holidays. It’s belly fat, not explosives.”

She was not amused. She did, however, deem me non-threatening enough to be allowed on a commercial airliner.

I don’t know about you, but I am now officially vampired-out.

Not that I was ever a vampire fan to begin with, but after the glut of blood suckers that have saturated every form of media in the last year or so, I am ready to have the world move on from its fascination with sickly-looking, socially-impaired undead creatures.

Kind of sounds like my composition class of college freshman during finals week.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

Actually, when the craze started, I was happy about the millions of girls who were reading the “Twilight” series penned by Stephanie Meyer. As a book lover myself, I’m always delighted when other people get excited about reading; knowing how hard it is to compete with electronic entertainment, I’m ...more...