Posts Tagged ‘trust me’

New Recession on the Horizon

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

Chaska, MN (DWI) – Just as the American economy is poised to make a recovery from the past few years’ recession, new indicators released today predict another downturn is in the near future.

“I can’t help it!” protested mother-of-the-bride-to-be Jan Dunlap. “Once my daughter gets married next week, that’s it! I’m not spending another dime!”

It hurts so good!

Friday, April 16th, 2010

My husband is having knee surgery this week, so his doctor sent him a packet with all the pre-operation instructions he’s supposed to follow to make sure the procedure goes smoothly. Since this will be the fourth surgery he’s had on that particular knee in the last twenty years, we both have a pretty good idea of what the day of surgery will entail. As expected, the packet from the doctor included the usual medical information and hospital admission forms, a list of the prescription drugs my husband currently takes, and reminders about hospital policies.

There was also another sheet in the packet which my husband never received prior to his other surgeries.

New airport security bares all…literally…..

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

I may never fly again.

On a recent trip to San Antonio, I got wanded at the airport security checkpoint because I was wearing a long skirt.

“We can’t see the outline of your body,” the lady security person explained to me as she moved the wand around my hips.

“Well, actually, that’s kind of the idea here,” I told her. “I don’t want anyone to see the extra five pounds I put on over the holidays. It’s belly fat, not explosives.”

She was not amused. She did, however, deem me non-threatening enough to be allowed on a commercial airliner.