JanDunlap.com

I don’t know about you, but I am now officially vampired-out.

Not that I was ever a vampire fan to begin with, but after the glut of blood suckers that have saturated every form of media in the last year or so, I am ready to have the world move on from its fascination with sickly-looking, socially-impaired undead creatures.

Chaska, MN (DWI) – Local investigators have gathered unmistakable evidence that a natural disaster of epic proportions is only weeks away, and it won’t be appearing on your neighborhood movie screen.

Instead, it’s going to happen in neighborhoods all over the world.

“The effects of global warming are nothing compared to this baby,” said Dr. Steven Moron of the National Daylight Monitoring Center. “We are talking about complete geophysical, biological, and economic meltdown here. I don’t want to cause a panic, but our data shows we have barely eight weeks left of life as we know it. The Big Lights-Out is on its way.”

The Big Lights-Out is the term coined by Moron to describe the cataclysmic event that he and his team of investigators are now predicting as imminent: total darkness.

The world is full of loonies.

A few years ago, it was Y2K. All kinds of folks were warning us to stockpile bottled water and buy a portable generator to keep our electric appliances running when the world shut down at the turn of the century because of a vicious computer glitch. Transportation was going to fall into shambles, disease would be rampant, and to keep warm, we’d have to all start wearing blankets and burn furniture. And we wouldn’t get any mail, either. ...more...